Little girl

It’s been awhile since I wrote from my heart. But I think it’s come down to needing to write it out again. My storms of emotions collided months ago and since then, rain has fallen, the sun has dried it up, the earth has quaked, there was snow and ice, hail and wind, and now nothing. A silence has fallen in peace of where I am. I can’t change who I am or where I am-all I can do is just breathe and relax.
And so I told a good friend today, I wish sometimes that I wasn’t so strong. (They, of course, asked why.) I responded that if I wasn’t strong, maybe I would have cracked and gotten my way already. Haha, life is just not simple or easy for me in any regards.
I feel like I keep repeating lessons over and over again and at what? The expense of my children? I know I need to invest in each of them and they are only young once, but sometimes I (or the one I’m with) gets a little mmmm “sidetracked” (**cough**selfish***) and forgets they need love to grow and flourish. So…I’m not sure why I can’t seem to reach my “destiny” but I know I’ve been given a pretty large task right now…my little beautiful girl who smiles at me and looks up to me for everything. She deserves so much…wish I could give her a loving family and not some disjointed mess that I feel she gets sometimes. So, it is with a new resolve this new year, 2015, that I set out to spend as much time with my little angel as I can. 🙂 I will try to be everything that I can be for her.