(Click HERE and you can hear the song I have been listening to as I write.)
Writing….it’s part of who I am. I write from my heart, words flowing freely and effortlessly as they enter and exit through my fingers, manifesting themselves on my blog. This is a blog that has been difficult for me to write, in fact, as you will see by the sporadic time-frames that I post. I generally write most when I have a lot on my mind, and I was asked by my mom years ago why I don’t just write in a journal and keep it to myself. As if I was airing out dirty laundry. But I think other writers, as myself, enjoy reading too and what better than finding a connection with what someone has to say? I always dream that somehow, my stories can have an impact or maybe inspire someone-help them feel like they’re not alone and that life is still wonderful despite all the hardships we go through. I still haven’t had the heart to write about some of my largest “mountains” (figuratively speaking)…but I will get there soon-it’s been almost enough time.
Hearts don’t heal completely-they are scarred and sometimes pain comes back in tiny splinters, reminding us of what we went through. I had one of those experiences today. I heard something on Pandora that brought memories flooding back of a time that I thought my heart was broken beyond repair. Now looking back I see this wasn’t to be my battle in life-as I’ve said before, it was a stepping stone. I will never experience that exact pain again and I can say that with certainty, and it is what has brought me to New Mexico…following the little loves of my life. I am happy about the choices I made back (after not during) that time as so much good came out of all that. Remind me to tell my story of those events (the good parts anyway) soon!
Anyway, I am mainly writing this all to say that I am not perfect! My story is still unfolding. My life can’t be labeled or titled because I have no idea what will come at me next. I have been through some seemingly unreal things in my life and will likely go through more because that’s just what my life seems to hold (God I hope not though). Like a said in a recent post, great things come from the will to not be average, everyday, ordinary-from needing to be challenged and not accepting the norm. This is who I am…I am untitled, ever changing me. To those who once tried to write a book about their experiences in raising me, I hope I have not let you down too much that you couldn’t ever “finish” that book with a happy ending…although it sure seems happy through my eyes.