Scabs

LifeLike a dried scab

Itching to be set free

Promising healing

And so you scratch

Tearing at the evidence

Of pain

Only to discover

Healing hasn’t come yet

And now you’re left

Bleeding

Hoping that it will again

Become the scab

To stop the pain

And next time 

When all seems healed

Gone will be the pain

And all that’s left

Will be the scar

Down the Path (from early 2013)

I found this today…something that I wrote to someone dear to me in early 2013, and thought I would share. It was written out of sadness and love that I had realized was lost, and about my pride and the many negatives of my personality. I was rock climbing during this time and saw the mistakes I had made. Interestingly enough, I tied in (quite obviously) my Pisces “fish” personality. I actually really admire how this poem so accurately reflects so much about me. I hope you enjoy it-slightly different than how I write now. 🙂

I see you standing
Waiting
For me to join you
I am strong
And hold my chin high
So I don’t break
Or show you the weakness
I hide
I love
And cry
A mix of emotions
Warring inside
I want to prove it
I want to fight
Or let go
But I can’t decide
Where to go.
You don’t catch me
Like a fish swimming free
Longing for you
I will elude your grasp
Until you know
You can’t have me
Or bear to lose me
Again.
Like a bird
I fly high
Searching for you
To call me
To your nest
I’ve spread my wings
And won’t land
Until I find
My heart again.
Like a butterfly,
I’ve transformed
Impossibly
To continue my short life
To show you beauty
A lasting impression
Before I disappear.
For I catch a glimpse
Of you
Fighting
To be you
Thinking I am there
By your side
But I’m still watching
You
Here down this path
Through fog and rain
Landslides of pain
Keeping apart
You and I
No compromise
Both stubbornly walking
In dreams
Sovereignly sleeping
Dreaming
Our own desires to be
Our destiny
And maybe
Paths cross
Maybe not
Where do I give
Where do I stand strong
In what
I believe
Who I am
What I feel
What I know
To remain
Me
An elusive fish
A free flying bird
A beautifully tragic butterfly
That will disappear
In her own way
As she waits
And watches
You
Down the path.

Portrait on the wall

The sun shines brightly

Grass green and flowers blooming

Picture perfect, portrait on the wall

We function well

Carrying on this disillusionment

And then one day

A glitch in our system

The facade falls from the frame

Shattering into a million pieces

Leaving behind the nakedness

Truth is life’s ugly

But we cover up our lives

With pretty things

Keeping our world full

Constant activity

Children and what looks like God

But what happens?

When the portrait’s facade falls away?

When life’s rawness revealing

Our imperfection to all

Comes into focus

Only One to know us

To pick up the pieces

And carry us through these hardships

Let everything go

Let it be real and imperfect

Cry and tell Him you’re hurting

And let Him work it out

Or you can

Buy another picture

Cover up the bleeding

And continue basking in the sun

Of your picture perfect life.