Sleepless

Laying here, burning up my sheets, while you sleep peacefully. I can’t sleep-my mind is running too fast and my heart isn’t giving up. Another day where I go through the motions blindly forgetting life. But my nights are long and lonely, longing for so much more. And so I rethink every move in the past and how I always end up this way…satisfaction so out of reach. I’ve known good and too good to last but it doesn’t make sense that I can’t ever have the best of both. Not asking for the world. Just want to be loved and love wholly. Want to give all that I am to you and show you what loyalty is. But you don’t trust me…thinking I would get tired of you. But you’re different and I’ve never been adored. Never been loved or longed for by one I love in return. This isn’t easy for me. Admitting my deficits and asking for you to rescue me-be my knight and know that love takes effort. You can’t just get me and then give up or stop trying. I want to learn you every day and to be learned. I can’t be fixed-can’t be bought-can’t be figured out. I just need someone to love me inside and then out. To be willing to grow old learning who we are apart and together. Two is better than one. And I adore who you are. So I lie here sleeplessly thinking of you.

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