Old writings

I went through an old blog that I didn’t know existed still (needs to be deleted), but I feel like some of these that I wrote are worth posting. 

I was lazy and took screenshots of a few but the following was too long:

It’s called In a Flash and I wrote this in August of 2013 when I had been brutally assaulted in my own home and almost killed, but was more devastated by the loss of a relationship…one I knew wasn’t meant to be. I like this because it’s a reminder to me how fast life is and right now that knowing I’ve found my soul mate, my love, I need to take that chance and be all in.

In a Flash

Lashes fall and rise

Blurred light and noise

Confusion sets in

Pain searing through

Forced air struggling to move

Gasping

Glistening glass

Warm red pulsating out

Where am I?

I can’t think

I can’t feel

I can’t speak

The truth is real

Reality is painful

Hurt running deeper than it’s seen

Spinning out of control

Darkness comes back

Flooding inside my head

Beckoning me to stay

Asleep a little longer

Where I don’t feel
Inhaling

Feeling this intense

Painful desperation

Of forced change

Emotional bliss has faded

And turned to ice

Burning flames quenched

But not inside

For within

Memories exist

Only good can stay

All the words

The faces of sadness

Have gone away

Across infinity

For you are here

Within me

I can only move on

Scared but girded up

With strength and dignity
Asking for wings

Taking flight

To be alone

Praying for wind

Under your wings

To carry you 

As you dream away
Desiring perfection

Shutting out the pain

You feel

Catching your rainbow

As I let go

Close my eyes

You’re gone

In a flash

Can’t comprehend

But I need only this…

Trust

For He has promised

Only good will come
Blink

Just once

Enjoy this moment

The breath you breathe in

Now

Every second

You feel

You live

Dream

But know

Life is not a game

Turning and hurling

You control

Just one thing:

Who you allow inside

To share your soul

And in an instant

Time freezes

In a flash

Gone

You will be 

Who you chose to be

Forever

Chasing Rainbows makes me sad that I was with someone in 2013 who didn’t accept me for me in any way shape or form. He told me I should lose weight (I was tiny), I needed to eat less, and that he couldn’t stand my stretch marks as they were reminders that I didn’t bear his children. Obviously a good thing I got out of that. Wow!

I like As We Climb because I love analogies and to me, climbing is such a good reminder of how two should be connected in a relationship. The anchor is God; the rope between the two is the relationship that entails trust, commitment, and the willingness to grow; and each climber has their own responsibilities but they impact each other and they have to work together to climb; the climb is life itself-committing to it and living together. So to me, I feel like I’ve never had this partner but I’ve tried as you’ll see in Lightning Strikes and fallen many times. It’s always painful to fall and scary to climb again. But this one is worth the climb and worth all the practice I’ve had. ❤


Center of the Storm is pretty obvious-written in 2007, as I went through heartache I’m sure, the loss of my kids and an adoption that year, not to mention almost losing my life. I know God is the most powerful force and He is my peace and the center point of every storm.

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